Last post I talked about how happy I was. Today I want to talk about how that happiness has increased by pretty much a hundred in just these last 24 hours. At 10am this morning I was blown away with the announcement from my dear prophet Pres. Monson that all worthy women at the age of 19 could choose to serve a mission. Now this is crazy because up until now all women in my church have had to wait until they were 21 years of age or older. No longer. 19 it is.
Of course the first thing that popped into my head was friends. My two amazing friends that have been with me through thick and thin and were both planning on serving a mission as soon as they were able. Audrey, my kindred spirit, turned 19 along with me in January and is completing her second year of college. Caitlin, my bestie from childhood, turns 19 in four days. In a matter of months they could and most likely will be out serving the lord in a mission for our church. I admit it. I about started crying. I am not quite prepared for this!
You see, I have this deep fear of being left behind. But you know what, the second thought that entered my head after hearing this announcement was that I could go on a mission as soon as my semester ended. And you know what I did? I freaked. It has been the same reaction for years now. I think hmmm...I could go on a mission....wait, no, no no no, no I can't! I don't know what I'm doing! I'm too scared! I cannot do this! So I calmed myself down and you know what? Relief came. I realized that it's ok that I am still really scared to go on a mission. It's ok that a lot of my friends will be leaving soon and I will be left to finish up school and make a career for myself. Just because I am able to go at the age of 19 does not mean that I have to. It will probably take me until the age of 21 to figure out if I am physically and emotionally able to do this, and you know what. I might never be ready. Maybe it's not my place to serve and that is okay.
So, my dear friends, I will miss you dearly and I will probably cry when you head to the MTC, but I will be cheering you on from the second you put in your papers to the minute you get home. I love you and am so proud of you and want you to know that I wish I could be right there with you out serving, but it's just not my time. Audrey, I hope you end up in Europe because girl you deserve it! And Caitlin, I am guessing Brazil. And here's to me because I am happy with who I am and happy with this choice I have made. Mission or no mission, I will go when I am prompted to go. So that's that ma friends, let's see what the rest of conference brings! I don't think it can get quite as exciting as today, but I would love to be proved wrong!
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